I'm Fine

In life, one can only sit
and question at times.
It's as though the questions
at times have answers,
but to our standard,
those answers may be too
out of line.
I sit and ask the questions
but those answers come as
soon as I close my black eyes.
Cut the skin and feel the blood
seeping out from time to time,
because once it all dries up,
I rehabilitate myself
by making myself believe
that what I just did
was fine.
But it wasn't fine.
I crossed it.
Even though it wasn't real,
in my mind,
I crossed it.
I crossed the thin line,
but it was only in my mind
that I lost it.
Even when I wake up,
I wish the bloody waterfall
could abate the pain
that boils me inside
and leaves me asking myself
if what was once good in my
life will remain.
But I only dream of the bad,
because maybe in real life,
that thin line was never crossed.
And with that in mind,
I know that life's lessons won't
entail blood loss.
It's all in my mind.