I'm back
The old me
she got worst
but she makes me feel better
he left me high
valuable and broken
I fell hard
Knots in my stomach
I feel sick
I got that ich
Its ticking
I'm shaking
its addiction
I can't stop I can't look past this
I'm completely numb
he can't save me anymore
Its a dead end
I need to check myself in
I need real help
but this time
I don't think I can be saved
the wheels started
and there not slowing down
There just speeding
I can't look at him without breaking
the feeling inside
it hurts like hell
I want him forever
but I'm breaking him
I'm destroying him trying to kill him off
He got in too deep inside my heart
I don't know how to be
I just want to beat him to a bloody pulp
but I can't
he angers me so bad but it must be love
hell no this is a f*ck*ng
disease
I refuse to believe it
I stand by his side ready to battle any fights
Its all a lie
I'm the lie
I don't know anything
just to greet death in my dreams
I wake up everymorning
dreading that I'm alive
Something wrong
yes
unknown sources
none can save me
they try
but nothing works
this pain
p*ss hard to speak everyday
I sound like a retard
nothing coming out right
I can only get it out this way
poetry of writing
but because its so speratical
and back and forth
p*ss still never makes sense
so there's no use
I tried
now I'm on a mission
and only I can complete this
without him by my side
He was right
everyone that comes in his path either dies, leaves, gets f*ck*ng hurt
I see it all clearly now
I use to look at him for him to save me
superhero never got the hint
I'm caving in hitting rock bottom
I don't see the same light
this nice girl you all knew
died
I killed her
I'm tired I can't be this
so I busting through
I'm not crazy
just mentally f*ck*ng up
mentally traumatized
sheltered the f*ck out
mentally abusing I am
but that's because of what went on in the house
I'm cleaning my closet out
the secrets out
she destroying me
"delusional" false memory
"fatly" not fit to her image
I'm screaming in the middle of the night
there hitting my pillow
I hate this
pain changed me
I tried bearing my past
and it snuck up I'm *ss
Now the fall is greater than ever
time to face these demons
he helped me
he saved me
he opened my eyes in the most qurlerst way
But pain changes
were moved by pain
but I still can't face her
the one demon that destroyed my life
she caged me in
I can't crawl out
I'm crying out
but hes got the reward outside the gate but I can't make a move
I failed everyday
I don't know how its going to change
I'm in rage
I can't help this issue
so I'm running
But he running past my pase
He want me to face my fears
But he's all I loved
I can't
So he mimics her moves
braseing the ranges
to the stronger aim
He's my beautiful angle descighed as a demon
so back to now
yes my ship is sinking
I'm in pain
and I can't find the same
cycle
repeat
but this got into an addiction
I think its time to check in
I'm not crazy just need
more one on one
professional help
probably get more answer
and come back and win this war