Is It Okay?

Is it okay to admit I am still in pain?

That my wounds have yet to stop bleeding

They are not scabbed over or fading scars.

My heart still aches to a violent beat.

Is it ok for me to not be okay?

To fake a smile instead of listen to the conversation

To pretend I love shopping when I’d rather be home trying to forget.

Yes a road trip sounds great because every memory is locked in my house suffocating me.

Is it okay for me to tell you about the scars I lied when I said I was over it?

It’s only been a couple weeks and you all are expecting me to pick myself back up.

I’ve still got the receipts in my wallet,

because taking them out is getting rid of those last days.

Is it okay for me to remember all those times I took for granted?

To replay the memories in my head like soundless movies stuck in slow motion

To pull up the CVS app and print half a dozen pictures in an attempt to hold onto the past,

Pin each picture to the walls so I can remember the better days.

Is it okay for me to be quiet?

I know I’m supposed to fix myself but

These pieces scattered around the house just don’t fit quite right together

This forced smile can only convince so many people of my lies.

Is it ok for me to be broken just a while longer?

The bags under my eyes aren’t as vibrant, but they are still there.

My pieces will never fit together like before, but they are finding their way back to each other.

My wounds aren’t done scabbing over, but they are no longer bleeding.

Is it okay for me to admit it still hurts?