To My Beautiful Daughter

Baby girl, there are a few things I'd like to tell you about growing up as a teenager. When I was 15 and 16, there is advice I was given that I wish I had followed and now I want to encourage you to. Most everything I learned from being a teenager, I learned on my own. You will have experiences that will strengthen your being but you won't know how to handle them. That is life, darling. Though this may be, you don't have to be so clueless all the time. I'm here to help you and share with you some advice I learned as a teenager. 

The biggest thing I'd like you to know is your family will always love you. There will be nights that you wish you could run away and you will swear at your mother because you think you alone know what's best for you. You will pack your stuff but end up crying on your floor with the thought of being alone. Don't leave honey. The streets don't care about you like your sister does. The trees don't hold you like your mother did in her womb. The rain doesn't cry for you like your father will. Give them a hug and unpack your stuff; you're better at home. You will be fine.

Boys will tell you you're pretty and ask you for your number. You do not have to give it to them. Although when you do, believe me when I tell you his hormones will text you more than his mind. Look for someone you can call at 4:30 AM when you have no faith in the world left and he answers. If he tells you to go back to bed and get over it, cut him off. There will be a boy who will care for you more than he cares for himself; cut him off. If he can't love himself more than he loves you, he doesn't know how to love you. If he isn't willing to take things slow, he isn't worth it, leave. If he does not respect every aspect of your being as a woman, leave. If he makes you cry more than you smile, but you love him...leave. There will be few boys you think are worth it in high school, but remember, you're only in high school, sweetie, and you were beautiful before he said you were. You will be fine.

Your mental health comes before school. Your grade point average does not calculate your intelligence. Everyone always told me to get enough sleep on school nights, but it seems close to impossible when your final is based on something your brain destroyed 3 months ago. Get enough sleep. If you're up past 12 studying for a test you forgot about and you don't feel like you want to live anymore, grab the ice cream and take a breath. Your grades do not define you as a person. If anyone tries to tell you differently, turn your head and walk away. You are brilliantly intelligent alone. You will be fine. 

I could tell you my whole life story to try and protect you from getting hurt, but the truth is that you cannot avoid pain in this life. I often find myself giving my own mother advice, and I hope one day you will do the same for me. We are always learning but you cannot hold onto toxic memories forever. The same goes for people. Sometimes the girl in the back of the class being your best friend since 1st grade only means that it's been a long time. Do not let other people into your life if they do not feed to your happiness. No one ever told me this, but always take care of yourself before anyone else. Most things you will learn on your own, love. You will be fine. 

-Olivia Smith; Letter To My Future Child

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