“Life is a beautiful thing and it can’t be taken lightly”
I said it in English class today as I started to cry
The life is slowly being drained out of me
Like the water in a bathtub after taking a long shower
Everyday I move through the motions
As if I am playing my easy scales
The ones that are practiced daily
People come up to me asking if I am ok
Meaning my ankle because that is all they care about
Not a single thought of me
As if the only thing they can see is my foot in a walking boot
Like I have to feelings anywhere else
They say they admire me for my constant smile
When what they don’t understand is
The smile becomes faker everyday
It is harder and harder to be honestly happy
With the pain that this world serves me on platter
Like it is something amazing
Every word they say brings me down even more
Have you ever heard that every lie has a little piece of truth?
I live by that saying
Which is why when I get called
A loser, whore, jerk, and bitch as a “joke”
Or they same I stupid or not good, JUST so I will work harder,
I know deep inside they believe those lies
So even though they say
“Just Kidding” or “I didn’t mean it”
I have this feeling that it is the truth
It kills me starting on the inside
Moving its way outward
Until I can’t take it anymore
It is breaking me down slowly but surely
I tell people and they try to help
They tell me I am beautiful
Temporary belief of the truth they tell
When I hear more lies that stay in my head
Like an engraving on a ring
It is there until the say I die
Which is sooner that you might think
My life is sacred but it is hard to believe
That one may love something as ugly as me
Some friends will miss me but most may not
The clock is ticking like I’m microwaving popcorn
Random bursts of goodness but never enough
Cornels are always left un-popped
Maybe those un-popped cornels are what I need
To save my life