Lonely Lullabies

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:23 -- Kokoro

Rest teabags asleep on my sleepless eyes

And dream of the fragments within my mind

Fill the empty void inside

With nauseous guilt and acrid goodbyes

Consuming myself and feeding them lies,

I accept the tainted love I find

I drown in lonely lullabies

And ask myself if love is blind

All in bloom, all so alive

Yet I still drown in the silence on which I thrive

Silence, desperately searching for a place to hide

Drenched in the memories they all left behind

Once again I guess I've been left behind

Drain the swollen fluid from my ennui eyes

And "cure" me with chemicals to anesthetize

I'm locked in this prison of my own morbid mind

But I like it in here, no one outside can leave me behind

Self-awareness is my self-inflicted Stockholm Syndrome

I feed on hopeless misery and fester in martyrdom

Quixotic, chaotic; I'm a cage with no key

My fatal flaw is enigmatic entropy

I'm the most cynical idealist; I juxtapose myself

I mean nothing to you anymore but I have nothing else

I can't look away so I keep looking back

When I had something intact - everything I now lack

Maybe if I weren't ignored and treated like filthy dust

Then I could learn how to believe; I could learn how to trust

The clock just always mocks me as I'm running out of time

And I waste everyone else's while I dispose my wasted mind

I hate hollow hope, I hate how it tastes

And the aftertaste is worse, but it never dissipates

You gave me so much hope but then you threw it in my face

As if I don't exist and now I'm just a waste of space

Falling in love means nothing more than falling out of place

I'm falling apart and nothing more than a disgrace

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