If I told you to look into my eyes, perhaps you would see certain sadness

But, you would never see what my heart longs for and desires.

I can assure you with a smile that I am fine and that everything is going great.

While in the back of my mind I’m reminded by clips of yesterday of what it was

And what it has become.

If I told you again look into my eyes and tell me what you see…

You would not be able to answer this because you have never stopped to really see what is hurting you and how you can make you better.

All the while, I was trying to be strong for the both of us and you made me feel that I have been standing in the sidelines. As you push my help away because you think you are in control and can take it all on your own.

You always asked what is it that you do that makes me feel uneasy around you, but the fact that you can never be yourself around me made my guard block you to keep me safe.

Only my pillow and God have known the time I have spent crying for your redemption of the inner demons that you have struggled with for so long.

I cannot not blame you or judge you because I have had things to fight of my own.

I no longer dare stand in the sidelines and dare try to be strong for the both of us because before I knew it, I had lost me in the process of trying to help you.

I thank you for the lessons learned and I don’t hate you for it either. God has shown me forgiveness and I forgive you out of the love God has placed in my heart.

I love you in all sincerity and wish you the best, but it was what I always wanted for you to see since the very beginning.