The Mother In Despair

Hate

An emotion.

That isn’t strong enough for me to use

When demise is upon my enemies.

This has been a fact

For the entirety of my childhood.

I have despised the things I failed to accomplish,

If you asked me why,

I wouldn’t be able to tell you,

For a shrug of the shoulders

Would be all you would receive.

Yet even with hate still trapped in my soul,

I can still function.

But as the days pass by,

My future seems to be crumbling.

Just because I couldn’t learn how to embrace people

During my days of frolicking in the sunset

Nowadays if you ask anyone where I am

They won’t have a clue

For they will be wondering what happened to the mother full of despair.

Yet they cannot see that I am drowning in the crowd around them.

Shrieking the words

“I am right in front of your very eyes!”

Waiting for someone to drink in my call for help

But there is no response.

Everyone I love has moved on

While I am here bedridden

With racing thoughts.

How will I catch up to my loved ones?

How will I get to the finish line?

How will I heal my broken heart?

Even though I am encased in despair,

And while I obtain a dark hole in my chest that never healed.

Find it in your heart to listen to my words.

“Keep your light in tune with the people among you my child.

Do not let my sunken eyes lead you otherwise.

Go dance in the morning light and hold your sister’s delicate hands when she cries.

Shower your father in kisses when he arrives at dusk.

My final wish is for you to fulfill this promise

When life becomes dour, you will not raise your hands in frustration

Or give up on those who love you the most.

You will take the time to work with the people you love.

For love cures all

And even though I will not be by your side,

I will always be in your heart.