I here anxiety comes in many different forms, for some its some it server for some its not.

For me my anxiety is a suffocating friend, that likes to invite more friend to my head. Friends also known as depression, insomnia, and suicidal ideation, they like to keep me up and party in my head.

A party I watch from the windows as they talk with the anxiety’s roommate insecurity. They all talk about their part of what happens during the day.

Insecurities’ little sisters eventually pull up. Their names are body dysmorphia and Self-Hharm. Body dysmorphia convinces me that I’m to fat for anything or anyone, and Self-Harm convinces me that the only way to feel better abut myself is to cut till I bleed.

But Self-Harm has her rules and teams up with suicidal ideation, and together they “balance” each other out.

Self-Harm says “cut”, Suicidal ideation yells “but not to deep you don’t wanna cause your mother pain in the morning when she finds you have bled out”

Self-Harm states “More it’ll make you feel better”, suicidal ideation voices “Not to many you don’t wanna lose a lot of blood”

Self-Harm laughs at all the blood and mutters “Your week that’s all you got” but, its already a lot of blood and your starting to get light headed and now you see stars. Self-Harm gets kicked out of the party until the next day.

Now body dysmorphia and anxiety speak up at the sight of your blood. Body dysmorphia worries aloud “what are people gonna think if they see those scars.” Anxiety presses on “what happens when your mom finds out, she’s gonna be disappointed, she’s gonna send you away for help.”

“But I don’t want help.” You say to yourself, you know you need it

Its now depression and insomnia turn to break the walls of the house called mental health, of which they party at every night, Insomnia keeps you up overthinking everything, while depressions waters make you feel like your drowning.

You tired of feeling like you are drowning in your own brain. “Tomorrow,” you allege, “Tomorrow I’ll ask for help.”

Tomorrow comes and goes. You didn’t ask for help. Again, you say you’ll ask for help. Another day goes by only for the cycle to repeat again and again and again.

Until its to late. 

Get help before its to late. Suicide Hotline: 988