You were the one who held my hand,
You scooped me up and protected me.
On nights that I could no longer stand,
You would hold me until my crying stopped.
Those days that I could only feel pain,
I was reminded of your love for me.
When I wanted to hastily jump onto a train,
You showed me the home I have with you.
But today, and yesterday, there is no more you,
I left and I can't see my beautiful mother.
You have now blocked me from your gorgeous view,
And, by rejecting me, I have a deep need only for you.
My longing for you seems to go undetected,
But I dream of the day I can be by your side.
This isn't as easy as I once had expected,
I used to think I could leave and be fine.
But mom, my mom, I love you every day,
I remember the lessons you have installed in me.
I thank you for all the words you used to say,
Because I recall a lot more than I thought I might.
I hate to see you hurt,
Because my hurt comes from yours alone.
I can’t help but feel like a pile of dirt,
I feel less and less like me being so far from you.
I don't know how to handle the damage I've caused,
I regret the way my actions were portrayed.
I wish I could go back and hit unpause,
Or rewind the tape and enter into the good ol’ days.
Mom, I love you, I love you,
Yes, I still really do.
I can't ever not love you,
Because to not love you would be the end.
Mom, my mom, I would give you the world,
But mom, oh mom, I miss being yours.
I’m sorry my life has whirled and twirled,
But I am so very lost now here without you.
I miss you, I miss you,
Mom, I really do.
I wish that we could feel less blue,
Because I miss my mother to always talk to.
When we see each other again,
Can we hug and hug until our lungs give out?
I don’t want to replay the pain,
I want to be happy and cry because I’m finally by your side.