For My Mom

You were the one who held my hand,

You scooped me up and protected me. 

On nights that I could no longer stand, 

You would hold me until my crying stopped. 

Those days that I could only feel pain,

I was reminded of your love for me. 

When I wanted to hastily jump onto a train,

You showed me the home I have with you. 

But today, and yesterday, there is no more you,

I left and I can't see my beautiful mother. 

You have now blocked me from your gorgeous view, 

And, by rejecting me, I have a deep need only for you. 

My longing for you seems to go undetected, 

But I dream of the day I can be by your side. 

This isn't as easy as I once had expected, 

I used to think I could leave and be fine. 

But mom, my mom, I love you every day,

I remember the lessons you have installed in me. 

I thank you for all the words you used to say,

Because I recall a lot more than I thought I might. 

I hate to see you hurt,

Because my hurt comes from yours alone. 

I can’t help but feel like a pile of dirt,

I feel less and less like me being so far from you. 

I don't know how to handle the damage I've caused,

I regret the way my actions were portrayed. 

I wish I could go back and hit unpause,

Or rewind the tape and enter into the good ol’ days. 

Mom, I love you, I love you,

Yes, I still really do. 

I can't ever not love you,

Because to not love you would be the end. 

Mom, my mom, I would give you the world,

But mom, oh mom, I miss being yours. 

I’m sorry my life has whirled and twirled,

But I am so very lost now here without you.

I miss you, I miss you,

Mom, I really do. 

I wish that we could feel less blue,

Because I miss my mother to always talk to. 

When we see each other again,

Can we hug and hug until our lungs give out? 

I don’t want to replay the pain,

I want to be happy and cry because I’m finally by your side.