My Pride and My Family

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(this poem was presented at the 2014 EKU Alphabet center pride pageant )

 

Pride: A Feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from ones own achievements, the achievements of those with whome one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Gay pride: a sense of dignity and satisfaction in connection with the public acknowledgment of ones own homosexuality.

At first the difference in these two definitions seems slight. Understandable as one is more specific than the other. but look closer.

In sixth grade I came out to my one and only friend that i might be bisexual. I didnt think i had to tell her that i didnt want everyone else to know.

One week later the people i had been trying to make friends with said we couldnt be friends because i liked girls and that was gross.

At the end of that year at a slumber party with my best friend and some of her friends i was handed a note. "read it out loud" she said.

I dont rememeber the exact wording but the message was clear. 'We cant be friends anymore because youre a bisexual freak who is holding me back from being popular.'

I had to wait hours until it was late enough in the morning that i could call my mom to come get me.

My mother comforted me. Told me that she had never been a very good friend in the first place.

My Mother didnt question that i liked girls.

Eventually i made new friends. but it was always a test they had to pass.

Do you mind that i like girls?

does it bother you that im not straight?

I moved on. 

Went to a new school.

Learned more about my sexuality.

In junior year i discovered the term Pansexual.

Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.

I told everyone around me. Even did an english project on it my senior year.

My mother, while she doesnt particularly understand, accepts me still.

she knows im not straight. 

whenever i bring it up she just sort of nods. 

And i am satisfied. 

Not a whole lot of people know what pansexual means, its true.

I may not get much representation in the media, its true.

People may not really accept my sexuality as real, its true.

But i am PROUD God Damnit!

You Cannot take this from me!

This is who i am and no one can change that.

This is not a phase. not a grab for attention. Not some fucking party trick to entertain boys. 

This is who i am!

and i am proud. 

My little brother is 15. hes been struggling with his identity for years.

He has finally found his Identity and he accepts himself.

He is gender fluid, panromantic, demisexual.

And some of you may roll your eyes.

and ask if hes on tumblr.

The answer is yes. he is.

And he has found a way to define himself and understand his feelings and he is happy and you cannot take that from him!

My family has accepted him for who he is from grnadparents to second cousins.

We accept him for who he is.

And he is proud.

But some of us dont have it this easy. 

Some of us fear the retaliation of our families.

Some of us are proud of our identities but cannot show it becouse of the hate and fear that is ever present.

And it hurts that we cannot all be openly proud of who we are.

But here we can flaunt. Here we can smile and breath easy. Here in this room we are safe.

We can be a family who lovesand supports and accepts eachother.

So my family, with the rainbow coloring our hearts, be at ease. Be proud.

Tonight we are free. tonight let us forget the pain and torment and fear. 

Tonight, my friends, my family, we are PROUD!

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