Painstakingly different

Is how I always feel.

I try to fit in and I do with ease,

At first.

My Scarlet Letter is invisible to those around me,

But do not see the chains I carry.

I am normal; an everyday woman.

Then, I fall.

My limbs shake; my body stiffens.

The ones who loved me and cared for me

Do not look at me with that same affection.

I only see pity.

My Scarlet Letter is an E but one day I will take it off.

I will show the world it does not define me.

But even as I write these words

I doubt myself.

Because it will always be my defining trait.

And I will always be ashamed.

Of my genes, of my health,

And, of course, me.

So you can jump out behind the curtain,

And tell the world how freeing it is.

For I'm tired of being judged for My Letter

And the drapes envelope it well.