To an Old Friend

Sun, 02/11/2018 - 20:32 -- BrennaM

To my dear old friend,


It’s funny how relationships work, isn’t it? How one-sided it can truly be. I never wanted the both of us to coexist, yet you always stayed around. I accepted you, in the beginning, let you call the shots. When I wanted to get up in the morning, you wanted to stay in bed… and so I did. I did just that. You didn’t really like my friends much, why is that? All they wanted to do was make me feel something other than the solemn emptiness entrapped in every corner, crevice, and corridor in my brain. The emptiness lasted for some time. I tried nearly everything to fill it: got a new job, started working out, began a new diet. All of my closest companions told me that I could simply just be rid of you. They said that you weren’t real, but I knew that you were. I also knew that until I took full control of my future, you were here to stay.

My dear old friend, I am so sorry that I superseded you, that I conquered you, that I stopped answering your calls and constant demands. You were toxic to me and my wellbeing. As I have grown both mentally and physically, I have realized my true potential in life. With the help of my strongest friendships and newfound passions, I was able to dim the vacancy sign in my heart that was lit up by your sheer existence. I am not completely sure as to how you came into my life, but I know exactly how you left. I took comfort in my music. Practiced playing instruments for hours on end, until the beauty of the chords I rang through my house completely drowned you out. I felt you flee in fear as I began to experience warmth in my heart like the heat of the summer sun kissing my skin.

Dear Depression, I would like to formally apologize for being an unkind host. I know that your stay was not long, but it was impactful. I am stronger now than I have ever been, and for that, I am quite thankful. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, but unfortunately for you, they will not include me.


Yours truly,

Brenna Martin


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