I find myself constantly holding back tears

Life it’s a pool of sadness inside of me and it’s about to over flow

At times I can’t breathe and when I do it only pours more tears into the pool

What do you do when your option it to breath or cry?

But crying means that you actually have to feel all the pain that’s been caused

All the hatred that’s manifested inside of you will finally spill out

All the smothered cries and unanswered whys

 all the broken glass and memories that are now trash

All the disappointments and misconceptions

Tell me what do you do when your option is to breath or cry?

Sometimes I want to rip out my heart and stomp on it myself

I wish I didn’t have to feel anything else

Sometimes I want to derail and run away

 The pain is just manifesting by the day

 Sometimes I want to grab a bat

And smash up all of your things for payback

Sometimes I want to go out and find someone else

To replace the gap that you left

 Sometimes I want to scream to my dad LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!

Where were you when he broke my heart in two?

You had one job to raise your baby girl

To keep her from the heart ache and coldness of the world

You were suppose to be there

You were suppose to show me that you cared

Now I’m here heartbroken and distraught, with so much weighing me down

But I just can’t give up now

I’m stronger than what the devil tries to make me out to be

God has brought me through some troubling times and I want succumb to defeat

This is just a test of my faith in God

And if the Devil is watching me right now

I want him to know that he has not won

I will be successful and I will keep god at the head of my life

I will continue to pray when it seems nothing is going right

I see him trying to break me and he’s putting in his all

But I want you to know devil… that I will not fall

I might get weak and stumble sometimes

But my god will never leave me and I know this is true

My god will always protect me from all evil caused from you

I know my hear t has been broken but it’s the process of life

My life is far from over … and with all my might... I WILL FIGHT!