Pain

I'm suffering,

You do not understand

Frequent fear of living in pain

eating my brain everyday

I do not know what the future has set for me

I do not know how tomorrow's morning will be like, 

I do not know what a day is without pain

How will my bill be paid, uncertain?

Am I losing my physical capacity?

I do not even know

The journey in uncertain darkness increasing my pain levels

No one understand how I am living with pain everyday....

Neither you.

I am shouting with fear 

I do not think anyone is listening

I feel I do not have any friends

All the family members have abandoned me

Even the doctors were exhausted changing the medicines

They say, it's working

You say, this is all in your mind

Stand up, walk and run

You don't understand where I'm stuck

You will never understand

I am constantly screaming with pain

I am living in a terrible nightmare.

You do not believe that

I am the one who can only measure the depth of pain 

Look at me

Listen to me

I am a poor girl turning in to blue in severe pain

Thinking of uncertain recovery, mental disorder is vulnerable

I know there is no way to cure this pain

I also know that there could be a horrific ending for me 

Nevertheless, I want you to give me assurance of being who i am 

I want you to reward me

Because I'm brave, I am a warrior

I welcome a new morning every day living with pain

Rush to serve the family in the kitchen 

Wash the dirty dish bowls

Keep them comfortable

I do everything with intolerable pain

I do not leave anything for later. 

You say steroids, morphine will jump me to sleep

You do not agree that every night I'm tired of sleeping down my sleeves

I go back to nostalgia 

I think, who was I one day?

I can not match myself today

I feel helpless

I scream so loud and realize 

The pain slowly drilled into me, all the way inside 

I call on God

I say, O God! Why me? Why it is only me? 

He remained unaffected as usual 

Therefore, again I fall a sleep in a mutual understanding with pain 

The next morning, you judge me wrong looking at my smily face 

Because you are not aware of the nightmare i just had 

You really do not understand;

I spend every night in fear

Carrying the horrible pain in my body everyday, 

I realize, the smell of the human body is disappearing.... 

______