Paradise

Tue, 06/21/2016 - 14:51 -- Ty47

I am someone different.
I am someone new.
I am whoever I want to be.
My heart has been shattered,
All strength has forsaken me.
I am broken
I am torn.
I can express this.

When I have cried enough tears
to help the river flow,
When I have smiled so brightly
I am one with the sun,
I can express this as well.

When I am overjoyed
Consumed with thoughts of him and I..
Our laughter mingles,
And somehow
Our love soars in tandem,
Here I find a voice.
It is the only way.
I cannot otherwise explain
How a simple look from him burns itself
into my memory.
How I can stare all day into those eyes.
Eyes that are dark and mysterious
Yet
Impossibly deep and beautiful.

I cannot otherwise express
How much I long to trace the lines in his palm with my finger tips
Just to feel apart of his world..
I then could not express
The hurt I have when we do not work out.
Our love,
Once bright as the stars above,
No longer in tandem
But tears and ruins.
And yet I find a way to cope,
This voice.
Here I have a voice.

This newfound, powerful voice
is a gift I will always possess
without ever needing to speak.
This voice knows how deeply I care,
Knows the extent of my sorrows and pain.
This voice knows my innermost thoughts,
Knows what I dare not say to anyone else.
This voice not only knows my emotions,
my life...
It knows me.

This is the only way to release how I feel
about my mother's illness.
About my incapability to put up an emotional wall to protect myself.
-- What am I supposed to do without her?
-- How can I possibly refuse?
Come, voice.

I am lonely
I am lost
I am shattered.
Oh god, these words.
These individually unimportant letters, though put together, pour out the deepest parts of me
Uncovers my soul and unravels my tattered heart,
These meaningful words
May not be so meaningful to you.
Maybe they will be just that.
Words.
But here...
Here I am not alone.
Though I may be lost,
Here I am finding myself.
Without this, life would never be the same.

I write not only to comprehend
the depths of how I feel,
But to escape.
Here lies paradise for me.

I am free
I am confident
I am alive...
I am a poet.

This poem is about: 
Me

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