Pieces

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 04:15 -- LWB™

I'm looking at you but all I see is hurt, pain and anger.
I see you're broken, I see the real you.
I see that kid, that used to smile and laugh.
I see that kid, that was happy and content.
But most of all I see past that.
I see the hurt of you not knowing who your father is.
I see the hurt of you not being able to see your mother cause she's to busy trying to support you and others.
I see the hurt of you being a little kid all alone.
I see the hurt hiding behind your fake smile just trying not to be a bother.
I see the hurt of you knowing you're a mistake.
I see the hurt of you having to share a room with your grandpa that has cancer.
I see the hurt of you having to watch him day by day just die.
I see the hurt of the image that just can't seem to get out of your mind.
I see the hurt of the image of you seeing your grandpa dead, lifeless in that hospital bed.
I see the hurt of you just being a kid having to see your mom crying her eyes out while on her knees, just asking God why as they pull you out of the room.
I see the hurt of you moving house to house trying to find a place just to call home after you sat on the corner watching your mom throwing your shit out on the lawn in a trash bag after she just kicked you out.
I see the hurt of you knowing you'll never do anything with your life just like your uncles cause that's all you ever heard.
I see the hurt of you sitting in a room with your uncles wifes family cause no one should be alone on Christmas.
TRUST me I've felt the hurt.
I know the pain that you hold inside.
I know the pain hiding in your eyes.
I know the pain hiding behind your laugh.
I know the pain hiding when you looked around seeing everybody else happy opening gifts as family knowing you're not apart of it.
I know the pain hiding when they gave you that Christmas card just so you could have something to open, because out of everybody they cared.
I know the pain hiding with the tears ready to burst cause no mater how bad you felt you just didn't want to take that card, but you knowing you had to just so you wouldn't disrespect them.
I know the pain hiding when you looked into your uncle dead into the eyes holding everything back and lied to him with the fakest smile.
I know the pain hiding of you just feeling like whatever you do just never seems to be enough.
I know the pain hiding you have of not being able to talk about your problems.
I know the pain hiding you have of being called a monster just cause you couldn't hold it in anymore.
I know the pain hiding of you just trying not to go crazy and be sane.
TRUST me I know the pain that stained you.
I've held the anger you hold when you're surrounded by people but you just feel so alone.
I've held the anger you hold knowing that the only time you and your mom get along is when your not together.
I've held the anger you hold knowing you and your step dad are far from being close.
I've held the anger you hold looking down at your sick aunt with cancer as she's sleeping.
I've held the anger you hold screaming why her out of all people.
I've held the anger you hold praying to God, just give it all to me please Lord please.
I've held the anger you hold of letting your girlfriend go knowing she was the best thing that happened to you.
I've held the anger you hold just cause you felt you weren't good enough for her.
I've held the anger you hold telling yourself there's no such thing as love only lust, cause the one thing you loved the most broke your heart like it was nothing, so how could love be true.
I've held the anger you hold of everybody telling you just to be a man.
I've held the anger you hold when the your definition of a man is a cheater, liar, drunk, fiend, bully, beater, and someone who doesn't give a fuck.
I've held the anger you hold when your there for everyone else and when you need just someone to vent to nobody is around.
I've held the anger you hold when someone who does care tries but you just push them away cause it's to late.
I've held the anger you hold when the cousin you grew up with yells at you with a broken heart cause a 30 pack of beer is sitting in the fridge instead of food.
I've held the anger you hold when someone tries to be real with you but all you do is nod your head, cause fuck them they don't even know.
I've held the anger you hold when all your life your family treats you as if you were as old as them.
I've held the anger you hold when you're trying to call out to them and say please give me a break I don't even know what it's like to be a kid.
I've held the anger you hold just wishing you could go back and get a second chance, then wake up and know that wishes never come true.
TRUST me I've held the anger you hold.
I know everything and you still can't look at me for more then 10 seconds.
I know you feel disgusted.
But just look at me.
See I'm you but you can't even look me in the eyes.
Now the mirror is shattered cause you couldn't stand to see your own reflection.
Blood dripping down your fist as your picking up the pieces to what you thought you had solved.
But picking up these shattered pieces makes you only realize how broken you really are.
You've held back the tears so long you just forgot how to cry.
But it doesn't matter you couldn't even if you tried.
Just know I'm here for you.
TRUST me I am you.

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