Staring into glasses questioning their capacity 

Debating between two evils

Neither being the lesser choice

Teetering on the edge between 

continuous motions and thoughtless actions

actions that would lead others to countless other actions

or would it? 

Static

just being

neither happy nor sad

just numb

cold? no, just nothing 

you know your thoughts and feelings 

you can see them

trouble is that they are behind a plexy-glass indestructible door

taunting you with the hope that the door will open

so desperate for the door to open you look for ways to open it

cutting at it 

burning at it 

hitting it 

feeding it poisons

yelling and screaming at it until there is no more breath left in you 

you want to try and open the door with all of these methods but you 

hold back

hesitate

think 

because you know the consequences 

you know the end result 

you know the people you will hurt and disappoint 

you know how they will feel

so helpless 

so angry because they are so helpless 

so worried, they should not have to deal with this

so defeated… oh wait this is you 

such a burden… and worthless 

it is like two sides of the brain

at war

logic and rationality 

vs

suppressed emotions that consistently build on one another

making it worse and worse

 

so you don’t try to open the door 

you just keep trying to decipher what the capacity of glasses are 

you just keep cleaning the glass door

so that nobody can tell there is even a door at all 

in the hopes that soon the door will open 

and it will all be worth something again

not that the emotions behind the door weren’t worth something 

just that you can feel them

get the full affect

because you will feel it all 

the good 

and the bad

the happy and 

the sad 

the love

and the hate 

and even though you have to take the good with the bad 

at least you can feel it

differentiate between glasses

half empty 

or half full