To the Pretty Girl on the Virginia Brights

My “fashionable” addiction to cigarettes

has given me a few things:

One. A metallic flavor coating the inside of my cheeks

, paired with a yellow tongue that tastes it.

Two. An excuse to leave in awkward situations

Three.  Your name.

 

But Miss. Hall,

Your first name appears to be missing in action.

Which makes looking you up all the more challenging.

So, I will speak to Mr. Virginia Brights himself

And he’ll tell me that your name is either:

One. Olivia

Two. Isabelle

Three. Rosaline

Those names suit you, don’t you think?

 

Miss Hall,

Your suffix obligates me to assume that you are single.

And now I cannot stay away.

If only you were a Mister’s Misses.,

Then and only then could I keep my distance, because:

One.  Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's wife.

Two. I'd hate to ruin your reputation

(because they’d stop printing your picture on the Virginia Brights)

Three. I have a wife of my own.

 

Miss Hall,

My wife is already suspicious,

Since I  made her a spitting image of you.

But it was out of love and admiration that I:

One.  Bought my wife a similar pair of your golden hoops.

Two. Forced similar shades of your womanly rouge upon my wife’s boorish cheeks.

Three. Cut and styled my wife to have your bangs and bouncy locks.

 

Miss Hall,

How could  I not when I’m so absolutely obsessed with you

It’s disgusting.

My “fashionable” addiction to cigarettes

has given me a few things:

One. A metallic flavor coating the inside of my cheeks

, paired with a yellow tongue that tastes it.

Two. An excuse to leave in awkward situations

Three.  Your name.

 

But Miss. Hall,

Your first name appears to be missing in action.

Which makes looking you up all the more challenging.

So, I will speak to Mr. Virginia Brights himself

And he’ll tell me that your name is either:

One. Olivia

Two. Isabelle

Three. Rosaline

Those names suit you, don’t you think?

 

Miss Hall,

Your suffix obligates me to assume that you are single.

And now I cannot stay away.

If only you were a Mister’s Misses.,

Then and only then could I keep my distance, because:

One.  Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's wife.

Two. I'd hate to ruin your reputation

(because they’d stop printing your picture on the Virginia Brights)

Three. I have a wife of my own.

 

Miss Hall,

My wife is already suspicious,

Since I  made her a spitting image of you.

But it was out of love and admiration that I:

One.  Bought my wife a similar pair of your golden hoops.

Two. Forced similar shades of your womanly rouge upon my wife’s boorish cheeks.

Three. Cut and styled my wife to have your bangs and bouncy locks.

 

Miss Hall,

How could  I not when I’m so absolutely obsessed with you

It’s disgusting.

 

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