head spinning voices ringing

hating herself more than anything

more than her want to die

more than the weakness that keeps her alive

 

it only takes more cuts

deeper cuts

 and this can all be over

yet the girl who hates herself can not do it

 

anger courses through

why can she not do it she wonders

this causes more hate 

and by habit or anger more cutting

 

her wrists are painted red

her face painted in smiles

she goes to school 

she goes to parties

 

no one notices that the I am okay's are just I want to die's in disguise

she wants to scream to kick anything to get someone to notice

instead she goes home sits in silence and takes out her friend

another cut for another day gone without help