The Routine

Location

A smile on my face as the sun shines through,

Another wonderful day enters the room.

The same routine is what is done,

It’s time to go to school and have some fun.

A time to see friends and socialize,

A time to spend time with a special guy.

Neither a care nor worry to be had,

Those immature bodies just can’t understand.

They stare at me with their ignorant eyes,

Unaware of the tragedy that lies inside.

My cheeks move in an upward position,

To disguise my desperate and lonely disposition.

If one were to break through my façade

They would most likely stay away

A mind so dark it scares Edgar Allan Poe

Disturbing secrets no one should know

The sun is gone and night arrives

A black satin blanket engulfs the sky

Doors are locked and water runs boiling hot

A body reflected that is about to rot

A cat scratch here and a quad accident there,

So much crimson so the world can share.

Disgust and sorrow so apparent on my face,

A losing battle in this endless race.

Is this what is seen when looked upon?

The thoughts in my mind want to be done.

Trapped in a prison I made myself,

Too incredibly shy to ask for help.

Who can help such a distressed little girl?

She’s way too far from this corrupted world.

Now surrounded by the mystery of darkness,

Fears become real and sanity will be missed.

Demons shove my head under the bottomless sea.

Pressure falls on my chest and I can’t breathe.

The beating in my chest is starting to slow,

The color in my body begins to go

When blackness is all that is seen

An angelic light shines like a beam

My eyes flutter open, my arms and thighs are sore,

I then go through the routine once more.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741