My brain doesn’t compute with my heart.

I can feel my blood electrocuting the thought – I want you to leave

You

Really don’t want him to leave

My body jerks, flinching under the 15 layers of emotions I use as makeup

There’s a mask that hides your eyes and distorts you smile  

I always believed it rained because Gods soul turned cold

Froze into ice

His heart melted into teardrops falling from the sky

You burn yourself through the night, waiting 

The thoughts won’t come out of my body

Conflicted

Trapped

And now you’re on the floor imprisoned by unnamed burdens

It never made sense to be how someone loved me so much

Could walk away, and  never look back 

I want you to fight like I’m the most important thing

There is nothing glorious about this

There is no tea, no bathtub, no parade

We are all beggars  

For some reason my prayers would always end up as questions instead

Because no one would answer them quickly enough

There is a frenzy of fear standing in between 

When our paths merge, I am lost.  

who was I kidding? 

You kept changing the lock and I never found the key 

I swam

In the blood of a Saturday night.

Breathed in the ink of your love letter,

and drank your soft, gentle voice.

take down the word goodbye off the wall as we fall.

Hear the bones breaking as we hit bottom

In the darkness i realized

that i got the sight of the stars mixed up for your eyes

Got the brightness of the rising sun

mixed up for your smile

Got an angel mixed up for a fallen soul

We spend our days chasing the snowflakes that never touched the ground 

Floating in an endless sea of white and empty.