Send help

a landline 

a lifeline

some kind of a line

because I've finally lost it

i don't remember where I last had it, but it's finally gone

my will to live

maybe I dropped it among all those unsent letters, and emails, and texts, and calls, all asking for someone to talk to me

maybe I left it behind when I left behind my heart, where it would be safe, albeit lonely

maybe it dripped out of me when I was bleeding or crying

maybe I screamed it out of me when I was shouting for help somebody please help me

maybe someone stole it from me, when they stole my privacy, my trust, the love I ever had

maybe I never had it

and I was pretending this whole time

well whatever happened it's gone now

and it took a lot of things with it

my energy

my emotions

my ability to do anything, really

it took everything

I feel so empty without it

i wish someone would help me

but at the same time I wish they wouldn't

because without my will to live, I've gained a will to die