1

Here I lie

Outside, the breezes softly blow

Once upon a time, I ruled the world

Only now, my kingdom cries

 

And here I lie

 

Outside, the streams flow

Once upon a time, I greeted the sun

Only now, I am welcomed by the dark

 

But here I lie

 

Outside, the flowers grow

Once upon a time, I held riches

Only now, I am possessed. My life is no longer my own

 

So here I lie

 

I haven’t the strength. I haven’t the skill. And so I’ve lost my will

 

2

Ask, and it shall be given you,

But I want so much more.

Coins of gold, they fill my hands.

Diamonds line my walls.

Even so, my cup is not yet

Filled.

God only knows

How much I’ve earned.

It sits right outside my grasp.

Just a little more.

Kingdoms conquered. And a princess possessed.

Lovely, entitled, desired.

Mine.

No longer a spirit free to worship the Creator, but

Owned by the man made to rule all creation.

Prisoners of misfortune should obey their masters, so should

Queens obey their Kings, yet she

Refuses and rejects.

So kind am I to let her live and stay within my walls.

Truly, if her gratitude has been hidden with her virtue, then both must be found.

Until I make her mine, I’ll have no peace.

Victory lies in her highness, should she lie with her victor.

What is mine will not be kept from me.

Extreme measures are not desired,

Yet the end will justify the means. The

Zenith shines bright over me, and I take it as God’s blessing.

 

3

It is here that I am safe from a war.

I did what I was told and stayed alive.

I’d be foolish if I expected more.

A drink! A toast! To saving my own hide.

I did my job. Took the money and ran.

I should count myself lucky to be here.

But I will never see my girl again.

All my former subjects will live in fear.

How could I call myself a King if I

Gave up my crown and let myself be bought?

I’ll live a coward’s life before I die.

It might be better if I just forgot.

I try, but no bottle could e’er replace

The light my daughter gave me in her smile.

That man will surely bring tears to her face

And I will drink my sorrows all the while.

 

My daughter, crown, and freedom won’t come back.

                Let liquid fill my mind ‘til it’s gone black.

 

4

Coveting.

This craving.

Could this be

My desires taking over?

The demons are still screaming.

I know I haven’t the right.

I am a servant, not a hero.

The demons in my mind are playing tricks.

Telling me I am in love with the princess

Swearing I must be the one to take her back.

But I’ve always known her love could never be mine.

I am too weak to save her, yet

The constant screaming only grows more powerful.

They think I can defeat him.

They are consuming my body.

I can’t regain control.

Soon they will

Devour my

                Heart

 

5

Twelve

The princess knows her place.

The prince begins the ball.

The guests smile through their masks.

The servant waits.

 

Eleven

The princess enters elegantly.

The prince accompanies her.

The guests cheer for their rulers.

The servant lets the demons win.

 

Ten

The princess is asked to dance.

The prince gives her away.

The guests admire the mystery suitor.

The servant begins the waltz.

 

Nine

The princess feels like flying.

The prince grows suspicious.

The guests applaud the dancers.

The servant plans to steal his girl away.

 

Eight

The princess leaves her partner.

The prince motions to his guards.

The guests are unaware.

The servant is taken away.

 

Seven

The princess does not know.

The prince takes his turn.

The guests sway with the music.

The servant’s dagger is found.

 

Six

The princess does not want to dance.

The prince requests a song.

The guests listen cheerfully.

The servant’s plan is failing.

 

Five

The princess feels disgust.

The prince holds her too close.

The guests twirl in time.

The servant won’t last long.

Four

The princess retreats upstairs.

The prince follows behind.

The guests continue with the ball.

The servant’s demons are crying.

 

Three

The princess tries to hide.

The prince has found his victim.

The guests drink merrily.

The servant knows he has lost.

 

Two

The princess tries to scream.

The prince is too powerful.

The guests hear only music.

The servant cries for his beloved.

 

One

The princess can’t get up.

The prince’s grip tightens.

The guests are dancing happily.

The servant was not the hero.

 

6

Black is not a color.

Black is the view when my eyes are closed.

Black is the sky that envelops me.

Black are his eyes, the only thing I can see.

 

White is not a color.

White is my dress on the sheets.

White are the stars. So bright, so distant, so numerous.

White is the snow that drifts and falls on my face and my hands.

White is my skin. It is cold. It is new.

 

Red is a color.

Red are the rose petals that once felt like snow.

Red are the stars as they burn further away.

Red is the sky, with both hate and desire.

Red is the stain on the dress and the sheets.

Red is my skin where it has been touched.

 

7

How to walk like royalty

 

Head up

You’ve won your battle

You’ve claimed what’s owed to you

This feeling of power is natural

You are victorious

 

Look straight

They needn’t see your eyes

You mustn’t show the cracks in the armor

The horror of last night is your own load

You are strong

 

Relax your shoulders

This is where you’re meant to be

They won’t know that you ran

You did what you had to and this is your new life

You are courageous

 

Stand erect

You accept defeat with grace

Your death should have been honored

It was all in the name of love

You are loyal

 

Smile politely

They look up to you

They don’t know who you are

They don’t see your truth

You are proud