There was a place
I felt uncomfortable

and at home, where I was
watched and felt loved, but
left alone I let my mind wander,
and because of that it wanders still,
it will wander still until I'm gone,
and it may be from my own hand,
if I stop fighting living with invisible
illness, unrecognized illness, selfish
illness, selfless life, if I were to keep
living, selfish if stolen, but I want to
be an angel, you could die tomorrow
sweetheart be brave, be loved, and
love until the clock runs and runs
into the next hour, crashing,
I used to be five, I used to
watch Mickey Mouse,

Disney and Tom and
Jerry, with brothers

brother, Mother,
Father?

I feel old now,
and rotten, chasing
dreams, thinking all
I will finish is the race,
but I won't catch what I
thought was waiting for me,
at the finish line, I'm a freak,
who doesn't know what she's
doing, demon child, she scores
no victories, there is no champion,

only of the skies, and rip tides take
the crown away she won't be surfing.