So...how do i look? Do I look like a cuddly little teddy bear? Do I look like as though I am the nicest and the sweetest person to ever be dropped from being an angel. Or Do I look like someone who could be the demon on your shoulder whispering for you to consume all of the things that you had sworn to have quit days ago? Truth is, well your correct about everything...only you're missing several important facts. I am a cuddly little teddy bear who is out in search of blood and to the slightest sense of vulnerability or sudden aggression i could easily rip one apart without even blinking. My dad has always said "I would give you the shirt off of my back but I can be devious" well look like I truly am his child because I have destroyed one girl's heart for no other reason than that I was in pain. If you can hear me just know that I'm sorry and I hope that you are happy wherever you are. I haven't been called this but I have seen myself be the demon on my enemies shoulder softly whispering like Autumn air to a leaf to go out and "have fun" and while their drinking to show dominance I'm sitting in my submissive position watching, laughing as I kill them without even a gun to do it. Damn this shit should be illegal but then again suicide is a mystery while a child's homicide is easily solved by locking up the very ones who brought the child into the world. 

No one has ever heard of a girl making it to this extent, especially one that is willing to play both the dominate and the submissive roles in order to be able to afford the luxury mansion and not be called a drug using loser for everyone wants to be famous but don't ever want to know what it feels like to go through withdrawl because cold sweats, shaking violently, running to the bathroom, screaming, crying, and writing on the walls the letters "D.I.E" are all too much. Well princess I'm sorry to tell you this but if you want a taste of heaven you have to fight through hell. A drug doesn't have to cost you no more than $1.99 or a trip to the "ghetto" no a drug is any substance that causes a physiological change to the mind and body, or in modern term anything that takes you away from your disaster of a life and transports you to some other place, one that is more peaceful. More beautiful. One where people would never judge you. One where you just be you... happy and finally at peace. WAKE UP! That's just a fantasy. Those drugs are not your friend. Just because what you're doing to escape is not illegal doesn't mean that it won't kill you. You want to escape and feel happiness? Than get up and do something about it because let me tell you something about dreaming with your eyes closed. When you wake up and the high is gone all of that money and time that you're spending desperate to getting back to dream land is only Charlotte's web. News flash Charlotte is a spider and spider's eat those whom are weak. She's only feeding you until you end up too out of it to leave and then only then will she finally feed. 

To the ones who spit in my face. To the ones who opened my cascate before I had even stepped foot in it. To the ones who said "she'll never make it". To the ones who said that I am nothing but a manipulative user how dare you go against God and tell one of his creations what her future will be. If I were destined to have been a nothing than how come I hadn't died years ago? As many times as I had cursed God's name. Disgraced is symbols of love. Nearly demolished this gorgous temple that he had blessed me with. There is not a day that goes by that I don't question as to how come he hadn't just left me. Angels have to real because it took at least two of them to pull me from Satan's grasp and back into God's unjudging hands. My light glows for all of the angels who had left right before they could shine their brightest, those whos locked up, shackled in white thrown into pillow rooms doomed to a life of missing pieces all because one touch was one touch too many, those who prefer to dream with their eyes closed rather than with their feet. My success isn't for myself no it's for the people who so many have forgotten about. Those whom at first may have seemed quiet and perfectly "okay" to be honest weren't. For their mouths were sewn and when you go to their funeral they write the words "spit on my grave" because while they were alive you did it behind their backs and now you want remorse because your conscious is barking but then again your compassion should have been barking before well I guess that's why we have drugs right?