Never believed I was a normal one. Even when my family told me they were done.

 

I just looked into the mirror and asked myself, "Would they rather have had another son?"

 

Wait no, fuck that. I've already loaded my gun.

 

Waiting for the time to pull the trigger on myself. Feeling like I should just be on the very bottom shelf.

 

Easy to reach, easy to access. Why do I care what you think? I just want my damn success.

 

With or without you I know I'll get there. Even though this life I live ain't really fair.

 

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I didn't even care. Then I stop and realize I would just be pulling on my own hair.

 

Pull so hard so I can't feel all this pain that don't feel real. Above all that I have to keep my lips sealed.

 

Can't nobody hear me cry, ain't nobody wanna try. I'll spread my wings because all I truly wanna do is fly.

 

Away from this madness; away from all this hate. But still I be in this glorious state.

 

State of mind, state of happiness. I'll just leave you wondering... what's your best guess?

 

An inference; tell me, do you really know? All these memories make me just want to go.

 

But again I gaze into that mirror and see the best of the best. Just know that I was the one to put you all to rest.