I have these powers.
I will not call them super
Because if that's what they are
Everything I knew as a child was a lie.
My powers were not some mutation
That made life extravagant.
No!
They're a mutation or rather an illness
That's killing me slowly
With every breath I take.
As kids, we knew what the superpowers were,
But none of them developed in my brain
I went from believing I had X-ray vision,
The power to read thoughts,
And the ability to fly.
To realizing I had dysmorphia that changed how I saw things,
Demons in my head screaming at me,
And a scary desire to jump and fly to the heavens.
These were not what I wanted.
How did such innocent powers,
Become these?
I have powers!
Shouldn't I at least be strong?
Nope.
The walls are still closing in on me.
What about speed?
Funny! I can barely leave my bed.
Tell the future?
Well, that I can do but it's not how you think.
My brain allows me
To picture crazy fantasies.
Some just happen to come true.
And if you ask if I can control people,
With my mind
Well let me just say:
Of course, I can... well 43% of the time.
But how am I to control others,
When I can't even take hold of my life?
Powers were supposed to be amazing,
A special gift.
But to me its a living hell.
A way for the demons
to put me 6ft under.
I remember learning I was special.
2nd grade was when the anxiety hit,
I was learning to breathe
When I was drowning in oxygen.
3rd grade I believed I could fly,
Turns out it was my first attempt towards suicide.
And when other kids jumped ropes,
I tied nooses.
In 4th and 5th grade I could no longer see things the same.
Everyone was perfect.
I had all the flaws.
Now I don't know what's reality
And what's a mind game.
That's the thing everything in my head is a mind game.
But if I see it in my head
Then how is this not reality?
My world is an entire fantasy.
I've gone mad as a hatter.
But that's okay.
At least he'll except me for my powers.