thoughts while on my knees above the body of F. Scott Fitzgerald

Francis,
Can you smell the
Roses? Can you feel the way 
The water is falling down, 
Pooling underneath you so that it may
Help you float back to the surface
So you can be with the rest of us once again? 
But I’m not sure
You ever really belonged here. I’m not
Sure you were ready for this
Place we call Earth and this
Vapid thing we call
Living. But now I think we are ready,
Even if you never will be. So the water will 
Carry you back to us
And maybe we can try once more 
To look you in the eyes. And maybe this time 
We will understand. 
Maybe you will want to return to your
Hollow home, but humans are
Selfish and careless beings.

Francis,
Can you hear the cars passing 
By? Can you feel all the broken lovers
Racing by so carelessly? You warned us about 
All of this. You tried to 
Set us right. But I am not certain 
The lesson you were 
Trying to teach us was one we can 
Ever truly know in the same way you did. 
And I’m sorry to 
Disturb you, but I need to know
That when you visit me in my dreams
It is simply the ghost of you and not your 
Incarnation coming to find
Me. What have you done
To me? What have I become?
Tell me, is this how
It’s all supposed to end? Because I am sure you 
Have the answers now. The answers you 
Spent your whole life
Grasping at thread to figure out.

Francis,
Do you hear these words
In the wind? The rustling trees are
Starting to sound like the same words you put 
Into my head and forced me to 
Remember so
Completely. I can hear it as clear as you now 
Hear me call out your name,
Begging you to come back
So maybe I can finally move past simply 
Feeling your presence. I need you
To make sense of all these things
You left behind.

Francis,
I think I am losing my mind.
So please don’t resist as the
Waters take you away from your
Bed. Swim away into this river.
I will meet you at
The end.

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741