Trust Issues

Story time
From the past to the present
From the present to the future
From the future and beyond

As a kid
I developed trust issues
Because of what my parents did
My parents created a ruse

Ruse of a loving family and trusting home
A we'll put together relationship
I did not realize I'd end up alone
There divorce was somewhat like a confirmation slip

And then my mom was gone
I was a very young kid, but understood what was going on
She suddenly had withdrawn for four years
And I was expected for my life to go on

With my father in charge
Of me and my two younger brothers
My mother at large
We moved with my dad's sister to another city, and I slowly started to recover

But the events I just spoke of
Aren't when I realized I wasn't a kid anymore
It was freshman year when I fell in love
I'd never experienced such a strong emotion before

My earlier introduction
Was just background context
To my trust issues ending in destruction
And my love being a contest
But we're not there quite yet

Freshman year of high school
I already made friends
Marching brought on these friends that were cool
I also had fallen for someone but that came to an end

My friend dated him first
And I came second after they broke up
But our relationship dispersed
When his parents spoke up

They didn't really like me
So they made us give up our relationship
We both became free
And his family continued it's dictatorship

J.K. Rowling once said
"Love is the strongest power there is"
And I didn't realize this until I felt dead
And I'd lost my will to live

Yes that sounds dramatic
And we hadn't dated long
But the heart, there's just something about it
When it loses something important, it loses its will to be strong

I cried for hours
With a heavy broken heart
I felt like I had been devoured
And that everything fell apart

This was sophomore year
But I just played it off
Though I did have this underlying fear
That my heart was gone and had gone soft

Yes this was the moment I realized
That I wasn't a kid anymore
This wasn't the future I idealized
But at this moment I declared war

At this point
The breakup was my ending
My trust issues became disjoint
And I started depending on others less

Time went on
I finished my sophomore year
Summer time came upon us
Junior year was near

And then I got a text
He wanted to date again
I was slightly perplexed
But the heart wants what it wants, and we decided then

We'd date in secret
And keep it from his parents
This became sequent
He became my antidepressant

And now we're in the future
Two years later and our relationship is going strong
I begin to humor
That the ideas of this relationship have no gone wrong

His parents are finally okay
With the idea of us
And I'm happy to say
That behind the scenes it's slowly mending my trust

We've been going two years strong
And I've learned something I didn't know before
If there is truly love in a person's heart all along
Then they'll return to you for more love to adore

This poem is about: 
Me

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