What am I to you?
Am I just a toy?
For you to play with until you get bored
And go back to options number one, or two.
Am I just a momentary preoccupation for you to consume?
One of a string of people to keep you busy.
You ask me to be patient,
Tell me that you’ll be ready eventually.
I just have to hold on, a little longer,
A little longer…
Feels like one day some unseen figure decided to walk in behind the scenes of my life,
Picked up a pen and began to write in the book of my soul.
He looked down at his creation,
Because it is no way shape or form worthy of the term ‘art’
He looked down,
And wrote on the cover in a pen with tears for ink
He wrote two very simple words.
He dubbed it, “My Story”
You ask me if I’m hurt,
Raise my hopes only to knock the wind from my lungs.
A palm strike to the solar plexus out of the clear blue,
Again, and again I think to myself, “I can’t believe I bought that.”
Yet I keep coming back for more.
A true glutton for punishment.
Am I wrong for wanting you to give me a straight answer?
Am I wrong for not being afraid of the monsters that still chase you?
Am I wrong for wanting to kick through a brick wall?
Every time you mention someone else?
Should I just say, “Oh, she’ll come to it in her own time.”
Am I just wasting mine?
Yes, it hurts.
It hurts to know that I’m not the only one with a piece of you,
It hurts to hear you talk about another,
And it damn sure hurts to know that I may NEVER fully know you,
I’ve picked myself up, and dusted off more times than I care to remember
And trying again.
You ask why,
And honestly, I have no idea.
What rational, logically thinking person would keep taking the beating,
Like that punch-drunk boxer that just won’t leave the sport,
I keep trying.
I’ll keep trying for you,
Until the shine fades,
Until I finally tire of getting back up only to be cut back down to my knees
Until I tire of cutting slices of my soul just to hand them off to you.
I’m gonna try, try, try again
But one day, you’ll look up
And I’ll be walking on down the road whistling the same tune
As when I came…