Hopelessness, defeat, a sense of worthlessness

Fills every part of her body

Fills her heart, her soul, her mind

She’s standing in front of the mirror now

Wondering why it has to be like this

Where did her light go?

Where did her fight go?

There’s a dark figure behind her

Telling her everything she already knows

Telling her of her worthlessness

Telling her that no one wants her

Telling her that her life has no value

And that she should take it now

See, though, that the dark figure behind her

Is actually her, silhouetted with glowing red eyes

And a sweet smile filled with venom

The dark side of her brain

Given a body, a voice, a choice

It steps up right behind her

One dark, cold hand on her face

The other on her shoulder

Coming ever closer

That sweet, sweet smile ever apparent

The dark figure continues to tell her

That her life needs to end

But it goes with a different tactic now

It tells her how much better off she would be

If she would just take it, take it all

She would be in no more pain

No one could hurt her again

She begins to believe the dark figure

Until its lies are her truth

And she can see nothing else but that truth

She pulls out her phone

And starts to play some music

Her family knows she listens to music

So they will not know that something is off

She takes the blade carefully

It’s perched between her fingertips

She had used this blade before

She used it to make the marks on her hips

Marks that nobody knew she had

Carefully, ever so carefully

She presses it to her wrist

With a sudden fervor

She slices straight down

Eyes closed, she waits

She waits for the blood to drip

But it doesn’t

She opens her eyes

The cut is there, oh yes

But it's shallow

Much like the scratch of a cat’s claws

See, here’s the thing

About cutting your own skin

The first time is always the hardest

The skin is resistant

Fighting against the blade

But every time after, it gets easier

The resistance is gone

And the blade cuts through

Like a knife through butter

She looks at her wrist, barely even bleeding

She expects tears to be coming

But she feels nothing but emptiness

Her attempt didn’t work

How would she explain?

Her fingers grip the blade harder

She brings it back to her wrist

And, with a sudden violence

Slices down, down, down

Three other times

But each cut is shallow, small

None of them bleed enough

To even make a drop

Suddenly, she has a new idea

Instead of making new cuts

Just deepen the already existing ones

She tries it once, twice, thrice

Deepening, deepening

She didn’t care how long it took

Or how much it hurt

Tonight, she was going to end it

She couldn’t go on

Nothing could convince her otherwise

She would keep going

Until the floor was red with her blood

Until she felt it flowing down her arm

It would only take a couple more cuts

Wouldn’t it?

She had forgotten about her music playing

But suddenly, a song comes on

A song that plays the words

Seemingly written just for her

Every word rings out as true

Hitting her heart like a bullet

She tries to ignore it

And brings the blade back up

But the song is begging now: “Friend, please”

It begs her to put the blade down

It begs her, don’t take your life

Don’t take your life from me

It still begs, “Friend, please”

And the singer, he tells her that he understands

He tells her that he won’t give up on her

And she can’t help but wonder

How does he know?

How does this man know her struggles?

How does he know her mind?

How does he know her heart, her soul?

How does he know just the right words to say

To convince her to do the impossible?

“How? How do you know?”

She screams at him, though she knows

That he will never know it

She’s sitting on the bathroom floor now

Crying silently, the lines on her wrist stinging

What had she nearly done?

Her parents, her brother are nowhere to be found

They have abandoned her

When she needed them the most

Because they didn’t believe her

“You have nothing to be depressed about”

They would say to her

Perhaps that’s why

They didn’t understand the kind of music

She liked to listen to

The song is coming to an end now

"No, no," she thinks, "It can’t go away."

So she sets it on replay

And as she listens to it again and again

Her tears fall, taking away the pain of the night

The music can’t fix everything

Even she knows that

But tonight, it can heal her troubled soul 

At least for tonight, her soul is at rest

As the poison in her mind and heart and soul

Leaves with each tear

She feels content, at rest

She looks down at her wrist

Knowing what she nearly did

But knowing that it won’t happen again

Because now, now she has a band

That will fight for her when she can’t

Who will explain what she feels

When even she doesn’t understand

Now she has a band that gives her a reason to live

Because she didn’t really have one before

She took her phone, and looked at the song playing

The tears come back, but this time

She has a smile on her face

She continues to listen, to other songs this time

They tell her it’s okay to be sick

And that she’s not the only one

And that they are afraid like her

She knows that when things get rough

This band will always be there for her

To help her through

To give her heart a break

To give her soul a rest

She knows she can depend on them

And to her, that’s everything

The night passes quickly

And no one but her

Notices a difference

But isn’t it amazing?

How sometimes

It only takes one song

It only takes one line

To convince someone not to end it all?

How sometimes a band that may never know

That this person even exists

Can be the very thing

That saves that’s person’s life?

Music really is an amazing thing

It can save lives, save relationships, save sanity

It can bring people together or tear them apart

And this girl, she continues to go through life

Every day is a struggle for her

While that night she said

That it would never happen again

Almost every single day

She thinks of trying to take it all again

She thinks of different ways to do it

She thinks of how to hide it from her family

And that dark figure has reappeared

Closing in on her mind every now and again

But this time, there is something different

There are two men standing by her

If not physically, then mentally, spiritually

They stand beside her

And when that dark figure comes for her

Comes behind her and places those dark, cold hands

On her body

One on her face, and one on her shoulder

Looks at her with those glowing red eyes

Smiles that sweet, venom-filled smile

And starts to whisper dark thoughts in her ear

Those two men are with her

They fight that dark figure

One with weapons made of words

The other fighting with a pair of drumsticks

It only takes one hit

And that dark figure fades away

Not to come back until the next day

She smiles, and looks at the two men beside her

One with drumsticks and wild-colored hair

The other with an extraordinary talent with a pen

And she knows, that no matter what

These two will stand beside her

Their music will always be there

To chase that demon that is her mind away

And she knows, that as long as she can listen

To the music that saved her once

She will never have to worry about taking it all

Because those two men did something

Far more than make some great music

They gave her back her light

They gave her back her fight

They gave her the hope and courage

To do what she once thought was impossible

They gave her the strength

To keep on living

How do I know this story so well?

How can I tell it like I do?

How do I know every emotion, every image?

The answer is quite simple, really

The girl in this story, the girl in this poem

That girl is me

This is my story

The dark figure is the voice in my head

That I finally gave a body, an image to

I wanted to commit suicide

I wanted to slash my wrists

And finish this “waste of a life”

I was trying so hard

But I could not make the cut deep enough

But then, the music came and stopped me

The song “Friend, Please” saved my life

The second and third line of the chorus

Gave me the strength to throw the blade away

And since then, I know

That Tyler and Josh are my reason to live

I am able to keep on living

If I just hold on to the hope

That one day I will meet them

And I can thank them for everything they have done

Without even knowing it

They didn’t just create music

They created something that people can relate to

They created something that saves lives

My own story is a testament to that

But, just in case I never get the chance

To tell them what they’ve done for me

I will write it here

To Tyler:

Thank you for making me smile

Even when I feel I have no reason to

To Josh:

Thank you for giving me the hope

That things will truly get better after high school

To Tyler:

Thank you for writing the words

That can speak for me

When I don’t know how to explain

The dark things I’m feeling

To Josh:

Thank you for beating on those drums

For making the sound of them kick in my chest

Until everything else disappears

And I can’t hear that dark figure anymore

To Tyler and Josh:

Thank you for making the music

That introduced me to a group of people

Who feel the same things I do

And who truly and genuinely care

To Tyler and Josh:

Thank you for being a light

Even when everything else seems dark

And not just for me

But for thousands, even millions

Of other people who feel the same

Who need that light in their life

Because they are surrounded by nothing but darkness

To Tyler and Josh:

I don’t know what I did to deserve this music

What did I do to deserve the Skeleton Clique?

 “Friend, Please”, “Guns For Hands” and “Truce”

All convinced me not to end it all

“Johnny Boy”, “Migraine”, “Fake You Out”

“Ode To Sleep”, and "Glowing Eyes"

Have all explained to others

What I am feeling

When I could not understand it myself

To Tyler and Josh:

What did the world ever do to deserve

Two bright, shining lights

Like you?

Someone asked me the other day

“What would you be like

If Twenty One Pilots did not exist?”

I didn’t tell them the truth

I told them I didn’t know

But I do know

I know that if it wasn’t for the both of you

And the music you have made

I wouldn’t be here right now

My mother and father would have buried me

In the heat of the summer

They would have buried me before I had a chance

To start my senior year of high school

Because if it wasn’t for the right song at the right time

I would have kept digging and deepening

Until that cut was fatal

I would have committed suicide

But now?

To Tyler and Josh:

You guys say to stay alive

And now…

Now I finally feel as if I can.