We'd like to think that we get what we deserve,

That we've earned what we've accomplished and what we own:

Our positions, our grades, our fancy homes.

 

But that thinking is two sided,

(A fact rarely realized)

Because now we don't accept what we don't think we deserve;

Leaving us deprived of possibilities; penalized.

 

Because we've carried this mentality into relationships,

Thinking we are undeserving of love because of something we once did.

 

Perhaps it's a lie,

Perhaps it's true.

But the truth is,

It doesn't matter.

 

Because love is not deserved,

It's given.

A gift is not earned,

It's accepted.

 

And increasing our misery does nothing to change what we did, or who we used to be.

 

There's a thought I can't get through my head,

A remnant of a conversation, or some piece of literature I once read:

"Only when we stop trying to be enough are we able to love and be loved."

 

What?

 

If there's one unspoken rule that I have learned,

It's that I don't accept something I haven't earned.

And yet here's this I idea that I don't have to be

   good enough

      smart enough

         strong enough

All I have to do is reach out, let the walls down, and let myself be loved,

In spite of my mistakes, my secrets, my screw-ups,

Inspite of all the times when my best wasn't good enough,

There are no requirements, no strings attached,

But it's so hard to just accept it,

Surely there's a catch.

 

The truth is often we are undeserving,

For our own interests we are constantly serving,

But when others reach out, try to connect,

We must reach back, and leave for the future the questions of "What next?"

 

As we grow closer to each other,

We discover love's "strings," its cost:

It's a surrender,

And yet nothing is lost,

Instead of losing ourselves,

We become more whole,

Such is the way of love,

Such is the way of the soul.