Vague Reasons for Expression

The world has a flow, you know, unseen and controlling,

and sometimes I feel like part of it. Sometimes,

most times

I want to be severed from it completely.

Sever my string so I can hear my own thoughts, and let me step out 

of this mold and help others break from it as well. Why I write 

is why I think. There will be no flow in this poem, there is no flow

in how I think. There should be no flow in the world,

and that's why I write. I write because there are currently

eighty-six thoughts running rampant in my brain,

beating light speed and begging to make love with paper. Writing

for a cause means believing in something, but I write

to find what I believe in.

Maybe I am where most poets have been, 

a limbo of sorts, dancing precariously, trying on costumes,

waning like the moon double-time. Give me a piece of paper,

and I will write for you,

but I won't know why. Why

I write

is why I beat purpose. Purpose and I 

have been in an age-old battle, one looking the other

in the eye, taunting and sneering. The other seems to be winning

because it's got

gay rights, revolution, anti-abortion, religion, and freedom 

on its side.

I've got the dull edge of my pen, and a bucket of question marks

at my feet. 

I want to kick the bucket over, because I want to know the answers.

But not knowing is a vital part of it all, and I write because I don't know.

'All' being Anything, maybe Everything.

Maybe no one cares to hear, but why I write has nothing to do with that.

How genuine can your work be if you're putting it into context, rewriting lines like you're 

limiting your soul,

and testing it out on different lips, caring too much about what they will think?

I write to know, not to be heard and not to fight for something.

I write to live out the questions and stumble into what answers

 the world might give me.

I don't write to arm my words or to change someone's view.

I write to be sure of myself,

because I'm unsure of everything else.

Most importantly, I write to be uncertain

because everyone puts too much stock in the area

of certainty,

anyway.