I won

I should’ve told you from the beginning to never underestimate me

I should’ve stopped your palm from ever reaching me

And maybe these insecurities wouldn’t be dragging me around

The very thought of you is unbelievably destructive, breaking every single part of me

The destruction that you made of me was ALL your fault

 

Your fault that now people will stare and feel pity over me

Your fault that I’m just another part of the  statistics

Your fault that at times I wanted to crawl out of my own skin because the pain was too deep to dig out

Sitting next to you at first was ever lasting, you know the type of love everyone desires

But then it all came down to questioning whether this time I would leave with a bruise or not

Paranoid over where the brutality would hit this time

My face, legs, arms? I didn’t know and it wrecked me

I was trapped. Locked in your arms with chains pulling my skin

Leaving marks as a reminder, as if I were “owned” by you, as if I was some type of animal

I felt as a failure and disappointment ...

 

Wait, did I forget to tell you that I deceive you?

 

I allowed you to kill me while  handing you the shovel to bury me with all these insecurities

 

However, the day you had two hands strapped around my neck was the day I absolutely couldn’t take it anymore.

I looked at you with such intensity that you couldn’t bear look straight back at me.

In a second a fist to your face and your crouched back to the coward you had always been

I’ve won and risen with full armor

Because I dropped to my knees and cried out to someone who told me everything was going to be okay

He told me He loved me unconditionally

God picked me back into his arms and cleaned every single bruise on me

But if I had anything to tell you now

It would be that ... I forgive you.

For laying hands on me

But most of all I forgive you for your lost battle