Waiting

Waiting, waiting, waiting Sitting next to the door Looking out the window Asking everyday will he ever come home Is he just late from work Did he go out of town to visit family Does he even love me - like he said he did Did I do something wrong Can I fix it I'll give you money I'll stop screaming and so what you tell me to do I'll eat my peas and spinach and any other vegetable I usually don't eat Will he ever come back Never knowing that I was never the problem And it was just the way things worked out back then Why this happened to me I will never know Then it was all just a blur Always asking, asking, and asking What I did wrong and why I was the problem But now even though I think him everyday And still ask those questions Why How Was it me Can I change it Even though I'm older now I know God has always been there in spirit But I've never longed to see him and touch him And to ask him all these questions more Than when I think of my dad And how there might be a possibility that he doesn't Think of me Or doesn't pray for me Or that he even loves me And even though I know God will always see me through every situation and every problem I still can't grasp the idea that I did something So wrong So deceitful So evil That would make my own dad not love me like he said he did But God, God will see me through all my questions and he IS here in spirit Even though My dad isn't