Waiting, waiting, waiting
Sitting next to the door
Looking out the window
Asking everyday will he ever come home
Is he just late from work
Did he go out of town to visit family
Does he even love me - like he said he did
Did I do something wrong
Can I fix it
I'll give you money
I'll stop screaming and so what you tell me to do
I'll eat my peas and spinach and any other vegetable I usually don't eat
Will he ever come back
Never knowing that I was never the problem
And it was just the way things worked out back then
Why this happened to me
I will never know
Then it was all just a blur
Always asking, asking, and asking
What I did wrong and why I was the problem
But now even though I think him everyday
And still ask those questions
Why
How
Was it me
Can I change it
Even though I'm older now
I know God has always been there in spirit
But I've never longed to see him and touch him
And to ask him all these questions more
Than when I think of my dad
And how there might be a possibility that he doesn't
Think of me
Or doesn't pray for me
Or that he even loves me
And even though I know God will always see me through every situation and every problem
I still can't grasp the idea that I did something
So wrong
So deceitful
So evil
That would make my own dad not love me like he said he did
But God, God will see me through all my questions and he IS here in spirit
Even though
My dad isn't