I sit and I hold your fire

I pause for the joy I get

When I grasp you

The way you sparkle in light

They see you as discomfort

I see you as sentiment

You allow me to feel alive

You give me a sense of control

It’s not like adoring you

Is proscribed,

There is no law saying

That taking refuge in

Pain produced by my own hand

Is to some degree

A thing that could throw

Me in prison,

‘Cause you’re not

You are far from it

Calling you my savour

Is an insult to some

But for many it is

The truth.

I am not the only one

Who goes through this

I am what you call

A partner…

I am a partner in the craft

Of self-harm

We do not need a degree

We do not need some compensation offer

Gives us detachment and you shall see

That we don’t bleed for attention

But we bleed for realization

That maybe we have some life

Left in us to carry on

That maybe we can be something

To someone

And that maybe we are here

For a greater purpose than pain

Maybe we can change the world

Maybe we can truly prove you

Wrong, that we really are

Something special

But the again…

The world doesn’t notice

They don’t see

They don’t care

They don’t know what we are

Heck we don’t even know.

We could have the world

Ahead of us in arms reach

But because of the pain

We can’t reach it

We are knotted to a chair

With chains and cloth

You beat us and distress us

Tell us everything we are not

And nothing we are

You tell us our mistakes and failures

As if we don’t know them enough

That they aren’t the reason

For our cuts and burns and bruises

That our failures have brought us death

And the only way to succeed is for

Us to let the world win

But we won’t anymore

We are too strong in a sense

That we can inflict pain on ourselves

And feel nothing

That we have made it this long despite

You who told us to die or be happy

We won’t let you take our life

We need to prove to ourselves

That we are something

You can’t fuckin tell me

That I am some joke

Because I don’t think

Self-harm is funny

And that is what I am made of

I can cover it up with as much

Clothing as I want

But I will always know

What I’m hiding,

You can see it if you look in my eyes.

The fear I burry beneath the blood

At 3am , the pain

I conceal with scars.

But you are to carless to notice

You look at my smile

And never check the

Blood stained tiles.

But it is okay,

Me and my fellow fighters,

We believe we are something

But it takes the effort we don’t have.

So maybe you should

Take a second look

Stare longer into our eyes

And read the story written on our arms

And thighs and hips and we cry…

You know our secret but you look at

As if it was just a head cold

But it’s not.

Depression is like Cancer.