when i was

when i was younger all i desired was to be older 

locked in my my mind wanting nothing but to be a soldier 

clenching my heart because i was its only holder 

trying to be something but trapped in my own enclosure 

looking to feel but only feeling colder 

wanting to succeed but stoped before i could even  closer 

desiring nothing more but  to be found 

but am bound 

for my lack of sound

wishing there was someone around 

to hear my voice less cry

wanting nothing more than for them to say hi

wishing that i could spread my wings and fly

but to sacred because  i felt  like i could die 

all the while knowing if i didnt try

id stay locked inside

with nowhere to hide 

knowing now that if i never tried

then i might as well have closed my eyes and died

because if i never tried 

then i would never have seen the light 

reclaming my sight 

finding the vocies in my head were never right

and now knowing i am my strongest might