He finds himself 
He finds the only things that mean something 
He finds that one thing that reminds him some things are better left untouched like miscuito stings 
He finds that one line he misquotes from his ex's voice mail box after the phone rings 
I know I've reached the voice mail box but I can't sleep and she changed all the locks 
He finds the best answer he can give to his son 
Who asked him earlier why him and his Mom can't just be one  
Why Jimmy's parents don't yell, why he's told not to tell about how Mommy hurt her head when she fell 
Why his son is an only child, why money is tight 
Why Daddy's always alone trying to write 
Why Daddy and Mommy fight, why fighting is wrong but why Mommy treats it like it's right
He finds his car keys turning off the engine 
As some slut he paid 50 dollars gives him an erection 
He finds a glass of liquor, and the kicker is when he uses that drunkenness to finally do his own laundry he finds another man's cum on Mommy's knickers 
He finds a picture of his first date by a slip of paper with an already past court date
The bail bonds company already gave him a sealed fate 
He finds a letter from another woman he still thinks is his soul mate 
Who works at a local diner and keeps her double D's in the back washing the plates
After a request he states, she texts back with nude pictures and once he's done with them he deletes 'em to keep a clean slate
He finds nuance and finds excuses 
He finds that his excuses are useless 
Finds wasted passion and potential in his middle school box of pencils and he fucking finds 
That when he was 16 on August 22nd he couldn't fall asleep 
And found himself questioning in his living room if he could be a great father one day 
And he finds that he was wrong when he told himself he could be one

My Dad lead by a great example 
But I fear I can't be what he was for me 
I can't see in me what he sees
All I see is a series or sorrow songs written in minor keys and myself asking "Why me?" 
I don't want to make a million dollars 
But I do want to be a good father 
I just don't know if I have it in me, and I sure as hell don't know if writing it all down helps 
But I know that it is in fact August 22nd
And I know this is what happens 
When A Man Can't Find Sleep