WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE DIES

When someone you love dies and you are not expecting it, You don’t lose them all at once: You lose them in pieces and fragments over a long time – Their scents and fragrance begin to fade from the pillows to the clothes; the bathrooms and even their belongings you search deep within you hoping to find in your smiles their memories but then realise in tears that they are gone Far beyond your reach, Maybe out there in the sky or the moon or maybe burnt in the sun Probably in search of nothing, leaving you broken amidst the lovely bones that had grown around their absence: the connections-sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent-that happened after they were gone and you begin to see things in a way that let you hold the world without you in it. You become brutally bitter like a bulbaceous beast Taking no joy in songs but sorrows And laughter become suspicious strangers Leaving you a creature of grief and dust and bitter longings When someone you love dies And you are not expecting it, You don’t lose them all at once: You lose them in pieces and fragments over a long time – You miss everything about them bit by bit Beholding in you an empty place where they once filled. the nights begins to intensify, So does your misery you look around your apartment and find the clock ticking you remember love’s gone six feet below and not breathing you realise you can’t read their chats anymore Or check out their profiles on Facebook, INSTAGRAM or Twitter You remember those moments at the beach The much fun you both had at the mall before now And now everything you touch reminds you of their touch When someone you love dies And you’re not expecting it You don’t lose them all at once: You lose them in pieces and fragments over a long time Their scents and fragrance begin to fade from the pillows to the clothes, bathrooms, and even their belongings you search deep within hoping you’d find in your smiles their memories but then realise in tears that they are gone Far beyond your reach.