Which me do you see?

Look at me

I’m the perfect picture of daisies, sunshine, and smiles

Wrapped up neatly and encased in a pretty pink bow

Even my name

Kylie Rae

Hints at sugar, spice, and everything nice

Or simple, happy living on a farm in the middle of nowhere

But no one ever sees that behind my too bright smile

Is the blinding pain of the past I can’t forget

There’s a break in my laughter

A shriek that won’t come out

A hitch in my breath

The remnants of a sob that I’ve kept inside for too long

A hole in my heart

Covered up with rusted armor hastily constructed to keep the pain away

An anchor on my shoulders

That drags me down beneath the waves of my own misery until I’m drowning, gasping for breath and hoping someone will save me from myself

A crushing disappointment

When I realize that no one is coming, that no one sees, that no one knows the real me is hiding beneath the waves, held down beneath the reflection of the person I wish I could be

The perfect picture of daisies, sunshine, and smiles is killing me, tying that pretty pink bow into a noose around my neck and shoving me into the dark closet of my soul where there is no escaping

I just keep screaming, begging to be let out, hoping that someone will come along and free me from my own prison