Who am I?

Who am I?

What have I let myself become?

A person so dependent on your love that I merely can't see through the fog

So blinded by the thought of you that it clouds the very reasons why this wall I've built is there

What have I done?

I've let a person grab so tightly around my heart

That I've let myself lose sight of my interests for yours

I feel as if I'm not alone that everyone has a person in which they make a home

But what is a home when all there is, is pain?

When the mere thought of opening the door brings back the flood

The flood of hate and agony

The flood of love and lust

The flood of emotions that I can't bare to relive

Yet, here I am standing infront of this house again

Yearning to open the door

But terrified of what's beyond the threshold 

What have I become?

I used to love with all my heart

But now it's locked away

I used to see the good in you

But I've come to see I've ran out of places to look and you've ran out of reasons to let me in

I know what I've become

A convienience for your soul

To know that another being is in your control

That your actions and destructive behaviors

Though they create darkness

They will never create enough for me to leave

I've allowed myself to be the guided light in that darkness you call a soul

I've allowed you to use every piece of me to put yourself back together

Given every ounce of love in me so that your hapiness can be achieved

But where has that left me?

A million sleepless nights while you lay there sound asleep

A heart that's locked away while you hold the key

My heart ache is binding me to you

Who have I become?

I can tell you who I've become

A mere shadow of a person who no longer is in exhistence 

A person that I myself don't recognize the reflection

I've tried so hard to change into the person I once was

But this wall is far to high even for me to try to climb

Yet, here I am standing here again

At this door, at the familiar place 

That hides so much hate

So eager to let everthing I know fade into the past

To step a crossed this very threshold 

To let you take control

Here I stand blinded by the love that you say that you possess

What have I let myself fall into?

A never ending story

Of broken people trying to find the pieces within each other 

Yet, to scared to truly love one another

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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