why do i write

so many ask

so often

why write? why you? why at all?

i try ferverently to describe the itching in my fingers

as i reach for the keys or the pen

and the aching in my heart

of words that haven't found their way out just yet

i take comfort that they cant see

the answer to their question

that is so plain to me

can't see the blood boiling just below the surface

or the tears welling up in my heart, ready to spill over

can't see the panic in my heart

or the pain in my head

i write so i can see these things more clearly

see myself as who i am

and not a broken part of who i want to be

so please, dont ask

not unless you want to know

for to know why i write

is to know the chaos that is who i am

just beneath the surface