As I sit here trying to convince myself not to do it…
That life ain’t so bad I’ve been through worse ,I’ve been in ruins…
Confused , abused and and tired of rejection…
Looking to the sky with questions and never receiving
Any reply or interception…
I speak with the dead In Hope’s that they can hear me …
My best friend is someone I cant see but I know he’s there
Constantly pushing me …
I can’t comprehend where I went so wrong…
I don’t remember the moment when I decided and took the loss…
But I see where I endorsed my life…
In my hand writing I signed away my life…
Every day I sit and watch it crumble…
Everyday is a new and different tumble…
The voices get closer…
I try to ignore them only to have them come in closer and closer…
Born in sin, the devil welcomes me in…
I’m Battling his demons, I no longer have the strength to win…
For those of us who have fought against them…
Never stop seeing the horrendous evil..
Faces of death ones heart in paInful regret…
Yet I sit here I tend to forget who I am…
And from where once I came …
Lost in this abyss full of darkness where my pitifull…
Life ceases to exist…
For I am outside my self …
No longer can I control the desire …
The desire to end it all…
The rage inflamed within me is consuming…
My every thought , feeling I cant stop them from screaming …
I try and take myself to a happy place …
Only to find all the negative being throw at me ,a straight slap to the face…
This is no longer a race…
As I’ve been left behind…
Alone I came ,so alone I’ll die…
No need to tear there’s no use in crying…
For the body that I inhabited will surely rot in the dirt…
It was but a mere vessel that I inhabited to roam the earth…
There was nothing before me ,so let there be nothing after me…
I was but a soul on a mission…
In which I must have failed…
This world can not be saved for the sins one creates…
Have led this world into disarray…
And from the heavens , gods vengens will rise …
Strike down upon thee who’s mouths live in ridiculous lies…
I’m am but a servant sent to give one some In sight…
On the destruction we have caused and the consequences…
That will impail us all..
For we are all sinners…
Even those who believe that they are winners..
How can you win if you don’t know the truth…
A mere fool would see that…
when u win you lose …
You stop believing and are blinded by greed to see the truth…
Open your eyes and see the world for what it is …
There is no longer compassion or brotherness…
It’s become a world of hate and greed hypocrisy…
So many sit before the lord and ask for forgiveness…
Only to turn a bright eye when they think they are not in his presence …
I for one can say I’m a sinner…
The paths I’ve chosen will be judged accordingly…
I will not run beg or plead…
For I know the wrongs I’ve committed and know there is no saving me…
I apologize for the wrongs ive committed
And accept my judgement how it comes…
The day is near I can not say I am without fear..
As I can only imagine what’s to come…
The wrath of the lord is one that can not be undone …
They say it’s never to late…
Some may even think there’s a way to escape…
But I am tired and I’ve done enough…
Too much to go on and to much to go back…
so I’ll leave this world…
With a heavy heart…
Do not grieve for me as I am where I deserve to be…
I chose my paths…
And There is no way for me to be set free..
My destiny has ran its course…
My trail has been concluded…
Misery is my reality and loneliness is good company…
I shall not want nor shall I need …
My life has ended ,ended with like the air beneath my feet…

Written by: Raul Banda