The Woman in me
The woman in me, who is she, is she happy? is she angry? is she a peacemaker or a heartbreaker? how does she dresses, does the woman in me dress sexy, cute or just casual. the woman in me how does she think, what are her thoughts? when she wake up in the morning? is the woman in me satisfied with her life, when will she be okay with who she is? one thing she wants and knows is she wants to live her dreams, she wants to feel alive, she wants to complete. no more missing pieceings of the puzzle. wants that feeling that only god can give and no one cant take away. The woman in me wants, needs to be the woman she really is.
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jmedwards8
Hi!
Thanks for sharing your work :). I love the pacing of this--you have a good rhythm going, and the stream-of-consciousness, narrative feel is working well with the subject matter. What I want to see more of is images--tangible, concrete things that SHOW me how the speaker is conflicted instead of just TELLING me. Does that make sense? I want to be able to see, smell, touch, and hear this speaker in her conflict. I want to know what's keeping this person from being the person he/she feels is inside. How is the speaker different outwardly? What is making this speaker feel so disconnected from the person inside?
More! I want more!
Can't wait to see a revision.
Best,
jmedwards8