Well, I haven’t did this in a minute. Maybe caused I've been so used to trusting my handy dandy notebook. Nothing has changed, my life still feels like a train, with just better tracks. Understand? Sometimes "love" changes me though, sometimes I feel like you care. Sometimes I feel like I have you here. But that train always wrecks. Promise. This is just a brief sketch. I trust my notebook better than this technology, leave in peace and calm. Ha, right. Give me one reason why there are not enough answers but a system full of questions. Give me one reason why many can come up with excuses and lies but not enough reasons to not fib. As someone with a heart, afraid of it being broken. As someone with a mind of a newborn, being in a situation that no one can get out of unless they're taking the hard way out; I don’t want to be one of those someones. I’m tired of tears, I’m tired of being unhappy, I’m tired of having noone there with me, but I’m not crying. I’m beyond that. Can I be joking or can I just be in denial. Being in denial is always the first. As I write, I sit and think. Many days I sit and think. I think about ways to get out of this life. No, not the hard way, but a way out through happiness. It’s only right. Be in my heart forever, promise me you will love. I promise you I will get out of this soul if you don’t. Sincerely. Never do I pressure myself to walk into the fame. I never wanted it to feel as if I had no respect for myself. The struggle is hard. No more I know who’s there and who’s not. I'm finally miserable and unclean. Now I wonder who’s really happy. Whose there supporting me? Helping me cross that bridge, maybe? So much to say yet nothing is worth saying anymore. I'm trying, honestly, I am. But who is to believe the bad wo (man). I would continue but I'm too ashamed to show my tears. They’re falling invisible. Just love me with proper love. I'd respect the fading moments. I promise..

-it hurts, my God it does.

- but I don’t know what truly hurts, anymore.