Shana Aubrey Harris born two days after ole Punxsutawney
   i.e. the Doctor Phil - 

   of woodchucks Latin Name = Marmota Monax nest
   resembled a Rastafarian hair weave

   which creature rattled with ire and peeve 

ish ness, when rudely roused from his abode February fourth 

   two thousand nine hundred and ninety nine 

just two days after said groundhog got prodded to predict 

   what surprises old man winter would deliver 

   from his snowy white sleeve
   then juiced when he tried tug git cozy once again, 
   an ear piercing cry rent quiet 
   of his Redmond Proficiency Academy den.

Wails surpassed decibel deemed tolerated, 

   hence entire webbed threshold did reverb and rebound
and he could not muffle ears to block out sound,

nor would said creature trust his beady eyes
   how metamorphosis doth astound
transforming gangly infant into a stunning - materiel 

   viz par sans as fashionably attired home coming queen crowned
soon to be freshly minted high school senior,

   and perhaps college bound.

Seventeen plus years ago elapsed in a flash, 

as a newborn mandated to exit 
   her womb er full world uterine she did plash 
ordained by Mother Nature decreed 
   she must wriggle and leave placental stash
without (of course) leaving a mass of trash.   

Thus, exit from birth canal complemented 
   second and last daughter to the Harris mix

whereby, she communicated via clucks just for kicks

starting to gabble sounds vocalizing - sounds of cow bell licks
influenced by Donald Duck and Leif Erics 
son, also enlisting literary feedback from Barack Obama, 

   and his lovely brood of chic chicks
attired in his wall den uniform bespeaking 

   with his pointed skill teaching pre-presidential days
   within ivied bricks

primal utterances she acquired (courtesy of Alice Cooper) 

   Retained like toys in attics.

Like any buck minister fully taken aback

this mister mom did fuss and fawn from one jimmy crack

corn to the next rhyme, which captive infant audience gave no flack,

precious heir from loins papa did help spawn -
   an everyday cracker Jack

of all trades whereat n'er tiring as child rearing 

   more challenging than untying Gordian knot without lack
king and how, The Idler Wheel Is Wiser 

   than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords 
   Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do to pack
a Judy ish us punch - 

   though thee Punim born with adroit skill to quack
mimicking gripped banshees, 

   denizens frenziedly shrieking out the box of Pandora -
   as if one felt a whack

and a wallop, nonetheless infant younger daughter a boon against strife

   wool worth effort and propensity to revel qua biological miracle

re: said offspring did inadvertently teach me lessons of life

   to cherish and savor each giggle, laughter and smile

amidst cramped apartment plus feeling 

   discombobulated frustration bubbling rife

   introducing yours truly to the tha hen pecked moody blue wife.

Like a human bobbing sponge youngest progeny 
   absorbed auditory/ visual multitude

   within each axon and neuron of that infantile sensory “sir” kit board

aware at a tender young age how she struggled 
   to string words together to convey a mood

   predilection with language impediment 
   possibly passed thru umbilical cord.

No idea thru combination of genetics and biology 

   that burnished beautiful lass oof an offspring wrought

a smart girl, an apple of the eye 

   per this father who never thought

that thru attempts at conception sought

supremely melded genes, he thought loves labors last,
   t’would come to naught

delivered us an artistic, intrinsic, linguistic lass 

   who for no price can be bought!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I TOO LOVE YOU MY DEAR SHANA -
   MORE THAN THIS SHABBY POEM CAN CONVEY

WHICH...UPON ATTEMPTING TO UNDERSTAND -
   ABOVE GIBBERISH
   JA PROBABLY RAISE ARMS UP IN DESPAIR
   UTTERING OYE VAY!