I’m going to tell you a story
and I suggest you listen
don’t worry, I promise it’s worth your attention
okay, hold up
I told myself no rhyming scheme in this poem
so with that out of my system
I’ll get back to the message

 

Here’s a quick truth
you broke my heart
and I can’t spin it another way
these past months have been liberating
except that’s a lie
tormenting and depressing
those are some adjectives I can get behind

 

I don’t hate you and I’m not mad
it is possible for me
to understand your reasons
to respect them
to appreciate them
even to agree with them
and still have a broken heart

 

I explored religion
Buddhism and its meditation
I realized I have been sick
sick in the head
if you live with a cold long enough
you accept its conditions as reality
so I went to a doctor for some medication

 

Hope is a double-edged sword
it gives you reason to hold on
but it can also keep you waiting
for something that isn’t real,
if you had asked me
I wouldn’t have hesitated
to put off school
to save up money and travel
like you always wanted

 

Hope and silence
can breed destruction,
at some point
a thousand ricocheting
and emotional bullets
shredded my head
so I decided to run away
to a new city and to new people
because if I stay in the same town
without you
I’ll go fucking crazy

 

So I started applying for scholarships
found one for poetry
I couldn’t stop writing
and I’ve been consumed by creativity
you always wanted to speak the same language
and I’m not claiming it’s this
but I think this translation is a fair attempt

 

This is your poem
the only one in these pages
the rest are for me
even if you are their focus
I’m proud of these works
wanted you to see them
so you can see how I am different
know why I am writing
see what I’m feeling

 

Did you notice how this poem
is decidedly one sided?
me, my feelings, my writing
what about you?
I can’t claim to know that anymore
I like to think we are kindred spirits
but sometimes I think you’re
as different
as water
fundamental to my existence
but antimatter

 

There’s that rhyming scheme
or at least an attempt
I can’t get rid of it
it can be a tool for rhythm
but also distraction’s algorithm
what was I writing about?
oh yeah, I want you to be happy
to grow as you need
and at times that’s my relational creed
it’s just hard for a broken heart
to feel anything but broken

 

Again, me, Me, ME
I’m sorry
I wish I could see past my own feelings
to purely love you for who you are
and burn down my emotional ceiling,
I see how I hurt you
and for that I ask your forgiveness
I was unconsciously blind
and lovingly selfish
I guess all of this
is the blood essence of my poems
read them and I don’t think
you’ll be disappointed

 

Just promise me this:
after everything we had
and everything we shared
please don’t forget
don’t be indifferent
and don’t flippant
make the cost worth it
and see my attempted whit
for what it is
and that is as
my soul’s expression

 

So that’s my message
and that’s my story
it's a vessel of my devotion
devotion to you and devotion to me
a misdirected dream of what we were
and what we could be.