Distress

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O death! You the escape only, In a world where I'm so down, disheartened and lonely. In a place full of gross pals, And when you're so messed up with the walls, Full of stigma. And you realize you are tied
sometimes i feel like a sheet of aluminum a person not real and slated for repetitive reuse.
Push me too far and I will tumble over the  edge Make my heart stop and  I'll listen to what he says. As much as I'd love to stay and chat The more you pull me in, the next step I take  back.  
To the one who doesn’t feel like their enough, or worth it, or accepted. Not beautiful, Or enough, Or loved. I have a secret to tell you. It isn’t whispered but shouted.
Dear Betrayer, Sometimes I sit around and think About how everyone has a focus One day I could just fly away And my loved ones wouldn’t even notice   Or maybe they would start to see
Dear Doubters,       I want to start first by saying thank you. Because of you, I was able to find myself. I found the person I had been searching for. I found the fight. I found the will.
Dear Doubters,       I want to start first by saying thank you. Because of you, I was able to find myself. I found the person I had been searching for. I found the fight. I found the will.
The sad part is how easy it would be to just give it all up. To forget the work to forget the dream the sweat the blood  the tears.   It is a matter of will they say
a perfect world full of love full of life all above there is no violence there is no pain it makes no sense does it?   reverse turn it upside down that is how we live
Pull the rope from either end Watch it fray and snap and destroy from within.   Then squeeze the ball at its very core Till it’s a flat disk, with a pop, then a ball no more.  
I hear my name, turn around. Oh no, not he. Which one? The one who coos my name with flashing emerald eyes and curled tawny hair. Nothing exceptional, nothing rare.
Never houseless but always homeless, Music managed to provide a sanctuary Even if it is temporary. Always hungry but full off of food for thought, music was always nourishing. Cheeks sallow, belly hollow,
Caught in regrets Pain, depressed A Chaos, a mess The sheer emptiness The hurt and distress It all makes the clicks Enhance the sensation Of deep nothingness   A glimpse of apathy,
Tiny bald head smothered with faint peachy fuzz, wrinkled clenched eyelids hiding deep blue orbs, unopened fists punch at the sky,
You call at me like destiny And fly out of my grasp with the wind You tempt me with your grandeur Only to take it all away with your greed You invite me in
The pain I feel inside is empty and it’s dull and sinking and throbbing
10:56pm Someone tell me why im having a mental breakdown. its 10:56 and im numb. not too long ago i got my phone taken away,  and just let me something about that.  
The table stays the wood is grey  a light sull yellowed tingy yellow brown when on the bench  the hobo sleeps the homo weeps the political correctness steeps and for weeks and weeks
Do you see that girl, looking in the mirror?Starin
Sometimes you get so caught up. Spun so far around, that they're winding you up. Coiling you into a speedball before they send you splitting the air, Hitting the air before you're batted away.
  Peers and youth clatter and clank Minds nearly filled with blank Always looking so fine and swank A job and work a threat or a prank                 Parents diving into their savings bank
Guns blaring and people dying, murders live in lives of luxury Lairs and thieves boast about loot and adventures They use their talents; increase their wealth as they trample over others. No one can stop them for long.
My will is fleeting My love is fleeting My strength can only fill a bottle cap. Pain is I As I am death No near death In death. I'm too young for this Too old for this
Living and loving is science's greatest reaction, such a power is immense and can bring each human satisfaction, no matter the means or the creation of dreams but the feeling is real,
I suddenly realized (at five years old) Death applies to me too   That children become grown-ups who become grandmas who were the ones who died   And I was a children.  
Sometimes I feel like a loser…..
Seems lost, doesn’t it? The decisions that led to this moment, Cost it its own government, I still covet it, when its well it’s a wonderful thing, Sometimes, even in hell, this joy it can bring,
On this night we survive Just to wake up tomorrow We have rules to which we abide Yet it seems that they bring sorrow We wake up lonely and cold Then we venture out our door We decide to be truly bold
My one on one time begins as soon as I pick up this pencilWriting to release these contemplationsThe lead takes me to a process of distillationAs I am being careful not to run out from this eraser
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