An Armor to None

My skin used to be an armor

and as courageous as I seemed

it was all just this facade

that made sleep make me feel like I could be redeemed.

 

But I was lost

and I wasn't me.

 

I didn't show weakness

but I sure as hell didn't show strength

for I kept to myself in the midst of war

and I kept everyone at arm's length.

 

Like I said- I was lost

and I wasn't me.

 

I don't know when that exactly happened

but I do know when it began to change

see it was a new start in a new place

with all these people who were also so strange.

 

We came from different backgrounds

and some of us knew how to speak in different tongues

but united we laughed and we cried

until sometimes we couldn't feel our lungs.

 

I was just starting to find my way

and I was just beginning to be myself.

 

When I met you though, most of that was established

for I grew more than you could have known within a year

but in the last eight or so months

it seems that even more is clear.

 

For before I still didn't show weakness

and I still sure as hell didn't show strength

but I was getting better

and no longer kept people at arm's length.

 

However, you changed how I approached that

for you opened my heart to a new world of possibilities

which ultimately softened my skin until I no longer had to carry the armor

and in your own hands you took my heart and secured it- wanting all those responsibilities.

 

I started to progress with finding my way

and I became less scared to find out who I am.

 

And as those recent months shifted into the present

my mind has yet to be anything but chaotic

and so many emotions still whirl inside

but now it's because my skin doesn't have that armor

 

and it's because I'm no longer lost

for you found me- and brought me to myself

and loved me for all of that and more

causing me to soften up and enjoy being in the comfort of yourself.

 

I know at times it makes you feel guilty

seeing all that I have going on inside my not so pretty head

and my oh so heavy heart

but I'm letting you know- what you did was save me- for I was before I met you- the living dead.

 

And because you saved me in that way, I'm no longer lost

and I'm someone who is starting to look a lot more like me.

 

--A.N.

Note: Originally posted on my account on Quibblo

This poem is about: 
Me

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